01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Nah. My mom died in 2012, stepdad and I haven't talked since they divorced, and my birth dad is a stranger like everyone I've met post-high school.
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?
My cousin and best friend is the only one I've said it to.
03: Do you regret anything?
Of course. Regret is the feeling of having made an important decision. You'll always question if it was the right one. The curse of having an imagination.
04: Are you insecure?
I've spent 22 years writing a novel because I'm so scared of doing anything wrong I can hardly write a word.
05: What is your relationship status?
Virgin.
06: How do you want to die?
Reversing the heat death of the universe.
07: What did you last eat?
Half a carton of red bull, half a carton of coke, half a bottle of bailey's, half a bottle of JD and half a bag of potato chips. It's been a weekend sort of day.
08: Played any sports?
I was roped into playing soccer after school one time in first grade. It was an educational experience. I learned that I find team sports pointless, dull and arbitrary, that social status is considered more important than an individual's actual accomplishments, that everyone has opinions about everything you do with the ball so it's best to just pass it along as soon as it gets to you, and that nobody will actually stop you if you decide to walk off the field and home after playing for fifteen minutes.
09: Do you bite your nails?
Yeop.
10: When was your last physical fight?
Fifth grade school trip. People who don't know me well will never believe it, but I humiliated three large bullies at the same time with my good right arm in a cast. Dickstains shouldn't have gone after my plush panda.
11: Do you like someone?
Almost everyone.
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
My record is about a week. That was after playing Diablo 2 for an hour.
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?
Several conservatives.
14: Do you miss someone?
My friend who went conservative.
15: Have any pets?
Aren't allowed here.
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?
Drunk and sleepy.
17: Ever made out in the bathroom?
See question 5.
18: Are you scared of spiders?
Probably less than an average amount.
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Any day of the week.
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?
See 17.
21: What are your plans for this weekend?
Sleeping, watching The Expanse.
22: Do you want to have kids? How many?
Probably one or two girls. The only people I have any hope to understand.
23: Do you have piercings? How many?
Nope.
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
Throughout school I was considered somewhat gifted in maths. Later it has occurred to me I was probably a legit child prodigy of writing. Such wasted time.
25: Do you miss anyone from your past?
This is the same question as 14?
26: What are you craving right now?
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Probably.
28: Have you ever been cheated on?
See 20.
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
See 28.
30: What’s irritating you right now?
See 29.
31: Does somebody love you?
Hopefully.
32: What is your favourite color?
Mostly the green end of the green-blue spectrum.
33: Do you have trust issues?
Oh yes.
34: Who/what was your last dream about?
Moderately ominously, mom and stepdad were telling me about my sister who "would have been ten now".
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?
The theater that played 12 Years a Slave.
36: Do you give out second chances too easily?
Ask half of the hundreds of racista activists I've blocked on twitter.
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?
I study history and I can tell you forgetting is far too easy and forgiving should be easier.
38: Is this year the best year of your life?
2021? It could be.
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
See 28.
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
Look, I live right next door to a basically untouched forest that stretches from Norway to Alaska.
51: Favourite food?
Variety. Or chicken.
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
No, I believe in humanity. I believe we're responsible for our own choices, and no one else is going to save us from ourselves.
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
It may have involved drinking.
54: Is cheating ever okay?
No. If you want a thing to be okay it'll have to be something that is not described with the word "cheating". That it's not okay is implied in the concept of violating your agreed upon rules.
55: Are you mean?
Twitter has described me as "the sharpest pen in the country".
56: How many people have you fist fought?
About four.
57: Do you believe in true love?
More than I believe in fake love.
58: Favourite weather?
Sun and rain and day and night. Anything as long as it's warm.
59: Do you like the snow?
See above.
60: Do you wanna get married?
Almost more than anything.
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
I can't imagine so.
62: What makes you happy?
Creating. Caring. Space. Dirt. Life.
63: Would you change your name?
Probably not again, no.
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
To reiterate, I'm a relationship virgin. Never done any of that stuff.
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
That'd be my brother. I guess we hang out and watch movies and get drunk sometimes.
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
I know what you're trying to ask but that's obvious. The real question is, can a person ever become their complete self? I know I'm a work in progress.
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
That'd be my brother again.
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Cousin.
69: Do you believe in soulmates?
I believe it depends on how your soul grows.
70: Is there anyone you would die for?
Sure.
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