Funny story

I never told anyone this. At first because I would never have thought I needed to tell anyone since I assumed it was common knowledge, later because I was embarrassed, and for the last ten years or so because I wasn't sure I'd be able to explain it in words. But let's try.

When I was young I believed that the world made sense. I believed in authority. I believed it earnestly, based on nothing more than my reasonable assumptions of how stuff should work. I believed there was organization. That the grown-ups, who had been doing this job for longer than I could easily imagine, had figured it out.

I'm being vague. To be specific, I imagined when I graduated school and walked into the employment office the people there would know everything. They'd know what I wanted to do, what I liked to do, what I was good at, what I should do. They'd know what work needed to be done and who would be best for it, and they'd put me to work according to my ability and reward me according to my need, just like every other adult in the world.

It's hard to understand just how I came to believe this. I guess it was the same way most people come to believe in God. Not having the slightest idea how much stuff there was I didn't know, I just made crap up that would soothe my sheltered sensibilities and decided I was right, and sought evidence to support my theory and ignored evidence that didn't.

And let me tell you, walking into the employment office with these preconceptions was very confusing for everyone.